NEW: If you love John Boorman’s POINT BLANK, this post is the motherlode https://t.co/NSkWOLE4PU https://t.co/URD6vJh6TJ
(Source: cinephiliabeyond)
We want control of our bodies - GHOSTCOP
“I’m data exhausted. Not so much worried about the data I leave behind (though I should be), but of the amount I’m consuming. Endlessly, passively, ambiently absorbing and consuming. Like eating all day at a sub-par buffet, constantly full but never sated, to the point where you don’t even enjoy your favorite dishes anymore. My brain is stuffed, and yet I can’t retain or remember anything. And I physically feel this way, too: bloated, dull, fuzzy. ”
i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like
AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE
“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”
Dying.
Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.
(via thebrokenlyre)
(Source: octopussoir-, via gayrightsactivia)
guess what i did today
Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
Lock Yourself in a Soundproof Room and Scream for Help
“I hate reading blog posts so this better be fucking good.” - You, 2016
May it please the court: My client, who in this particular case happens to be myself, wishes to speak on behalf of herself, regarding her thoughts and feelings. There will be few specific instances shared as this is not a God damn memoir, but she will try her best to be sincere.
I rest my case.
Shit, I was going to say that at the end of this. Pretend I didn’t say that part yet. I never graduated college.
In the creative world, it is often hard to differentiate between someone’s “persona” and their genuine self. This applies to comedians, actors, artists, musicians, writers, social media personalities and family members of former O.J Simpson defense lawyer, Robert Kardashian.
So when do we laugh off a tweet about swan diving into a tar pit and when do we question the mental stability of the person posting it? That is up to you. I will say however, a lazy lowercase response of “r u okay” will bring absolutely nothing to the table. If you are truly concerned, reach out privately. If you are not concerned, congratulations, you’ve successfully mastered the art of not giving a fuck. Please private message me your secret.
As hard as it is to gauge the earnestness of others, it can be equally difficult to identify what is going on in your own complicated brain. Why did I send 10 emojis in a row when I wanted to ask how that person is doing? Do I really like that band or do I like them because it’s “important” to like them? Am I making a joke because it’s funny or am I just trying to cope? Is it both? Why the FUCK does everyone have a stand up special now? When did this happen?
I don’t have the answer to any of these questions.
I do however know the following about myself:
I am sensitive and anxious and I will do everything in my power to avoid things that could potentially trigger negative feelings.
This often means closing myself off from people and even things I love.
In 2010 my whole world blew up and in 2012 I dropped out of school in pursuit of a career in…
COMEDY WRITING!
Woah!!! COoooooOOOoool! Do You know Jim CaaaarEY??!!!?
Sadly, no.
But I do sabotage much of my progress because of this constant state of anxiety.
I will avoid meeting people and working on things I know will better me. I avoid speaking in depth with people simply because I don’t want to share how I’ve been. I will avoid a movie that reminds me of someone. A song. A type of drink. Holy shit, look at the calendar. I haven’t seen a friend in weeks.
So how does one progress in a field that demands you communicate and put yourself out there when all you want to do is avoid? No, really, I’m asking you. Again, I ask that you please private message me your secrets.
You cannot shut yourself off from the world and expect things to come to you. You can’t joke your way through an interaction then ask why no one takes you seriously. You can’t lock yourself in a sound proof room and scream for help.
“If you’re acknowledging the problem, well that’s the first step, baby!” you may be screaming in response right now, through your car window. And in many ways, I do agree. However, that first step only matters if there are steps following. Knowing you have a problem and broadcasting it through the streets on a float is HILARIOUS oh my God, how did you come up with that, Peter? But it will not solve it.
I used to have a journal with the words “Baby Steps” written on the cover. No, it was not the self help book from “What About Bob” but it WAS equally helpful, I am assuming.
Each day I would record a baby step I had taken toward bettering myself. I would mark the date at the top and look back at my progress every week. Before I knew it, I had done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA - some weeks. But most weeks I would have done just enough to feel like I was working toward something.
Today I decided to start a baby step journal again.
I know we all have our own lives and issues others may never fully understand but regardless of your age or whatever the hell you’re seeking, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You don’t have to be a great success who is perfectly stable and happy all of the time or an absolute failure who romanticizes their struggle. You can just be a person who is trying to get by a little at a time. We’ll forgive you for it! Enough people have forgiven me.
I rest my case.
(YES! I did it right that time.)
Mindy Furano is a boss, follow her on everything followable.
